Blaugust 2015, Day 30 – And Now for Something Completely Different

Having posted something reasonably intelligent and well-received I must now inform you that it is my solemn duty to enforce my notion of cosmic balance by writing something completely terrible about absolutely unintelligent endeavors.

I downloaded and started playing TERA.

My first impression is that this is a game designed to be enjoyed primarily by those who would also take delight in watching old reruns of the anime saga Tenchi Muyo, a cartoon normally enjoyed by twelve-year-olds in the comfort of their living room after school and on the weekends. For good measure we’ll throw in Love Hina as well. I only know about these things because I was briefly obsessed with them in my early twenties. Don’t ask.

The central premise of these sorts of cartoons is that there is a Guy Who Is Cool Without Trying or a Hidden and Misunderstood Genius who is completely oblivious to the mob of female characters who are all in love with him and would love nothing more than to marry him and/or give him a soapy titwank.

Enter TERA, a very pretty and seemingly vapid quest-hub-grinder clone whose chief driving aesthetic is best and worst described as Sexpots in Slutmail and you can see the parallels between the types of viewers these two forms of entertainment appear to be directed at.

I did my best in rolling up a Human character who was more clothed than naked and chose the Warrior class, the bane of all non-generic classes. In this world they dual wield swords and can be used for “evasion” tanking which is said to require a high level of skill. I chose that over Lancer, an absorption tank, due to the fact that I did not want to be wielding a 25-foot jousting pole as my primary weapon.

My logic is flawless. Don’t question it.

The High Elves heave their chests too much in their default idling animation (in which they can’t possibly be idling), the Popori are nightmare fuel, and the pandas are only good for a silent chuckle when you see one riding a panda mount. I may try a Castanic in the near future (evil devil-women with horns who resemble Draenei) as they seem to have some sleek, stylish looks that boast the least pronounced bosoms. In other words, reasonably proportioned.

It should be clear from the text that I’m exploring this game primarily for the aesthetics. Everything else is rather standard. It’s got action combat with dodge rolls and a targeting reticle; the reticle seems to be most useful for the archer and gunner classes although the latter carry around weapons so large that it would seem they shouldn’t need to aim them at all. The action combat is referred to by some sources as “Stop-Motion Combat” due to the use of animation locks, i.e. the abilities you execute right before an enemy winds up a one-shot attack so that you die instantly when your animation is done.

I’ve found a new faffing game for now – not that I needed one – and will be happy to update you when I’ve made any significant amount of progress in this teenage pinup wet dream.

Don’t expect any updates.

Blaugust 2015 Initiative Page


13 thoughts on “Blaugust 2015, Day 30 – And Now for Something Completely Different

      1. once you get more skills it starts getting really cool – especially with the active system. DPS have to be in charge of themselves, avoid the bad but with the BAMs the animations are done in such a way that you know what’s going to happen – to avoid, I didn’t feel lost or frustrated throughout them all, even during my failures. loved the healing a lot too.


        1. I’ll check it out, perhaps during my three days off here. I tried out Mystic and Priest and found both of them to be underwhelming. I could be motivated to play a Mystic if the game weren’t so shallow.


          1. Your welcome to have a play around on my account if you want – and if I can remember the password. Mystic at 60(no longer cap=p) and a warrior and berserker in the 20s I think


  1. I tried Tera for an afternoon back in the day. I agree that the High Elves were very overdone. Castanics were considered “best looking” but I couldn’t stand the running animation. As i said in my post about it: “It was horrid. Bent double, flashing its ass in the air while flailing its arms in a caricature of the “runs like a girl” stereotype.” And that pretty much did it in for me. Had other games I wanted to play and didn’t feel like trying all the classes to see if anything felt more interesting. If you’re enjoying it, more power to ya. It just didn’t “do it” for me.


    1. Mostly aesthetics, but the gunner and warrior combat styles are growing on me. Gunner reminds me of firing rockets at players’ feet in Quake 2. I also like the impact of the projectiles and the sound of the ridiculously large gun.

      The game is pretty wack, to put it bluntly.


    1. The Human female’s running gait is actually quite respectable. My Human Warrior is growing on me quite a bit. The High Elf female sways her hips and has a sultry vixen vibe to her but is tolerable. The Castanic females have the proportions I prefer but their gaits are absolutely dreadful.

      All of them sit side-saddle on mounts. Good grief.


  2. Aaahahahahaha soapy titwank!!! *snort* *wheeze*

    Also apparently that FB share button hates me – it covers 95% of the like button on every browser I use except Chrome (am on Safari atm). Weirdness.


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